I’ve blogged since 2013 using many identities and guises. I began as Disillusioned Dad, a depressed melancholic father struggling to come to terms with parenthood and marriage all while juggling a job that I detested. As I became less disillusioned, learned to love my children, and began to find a better work life balance, I morphed into Papa Tont; a parent blogger who became engulfed in the commercial and materialistic world of competitive blogging. Jealous of those bloggers who secured contracts with the biggest of brands, envious of those bloggers who seemed to get all of the best opportunities, yet too exhausted from full time work and family to fully invest in my blogging venture and do what was needed to compete. I had come full circle and found myself to be disillusioned once more.
By this time, my marriage of 10 years had started to break down. Over the years we had to endure more than most, as a family we had been struggling to cope with mental health issues such as anxiety, agoraphobia, compulsive behaviour, and eating disorders that eventually led to my ex-wife being hospitalised with anorexia. The world looked like a very dark place. Our marriage had changed, we had changed, and subsequently I had to do something dramatic otherwise I would have been sucked into the emotional darkness and I would have lost myself forever. So one work day morning, I went to work and never returned.
As a separated father of two, I took a long reflective look at myself and I didn’t like what I saw. I was grossly overweight with a BMI of 36, carrying a body fat percentage of approximately 38%, and was so mentally damaged I had no confidence in myself. I felt like a failure. I started to blog as Getting Dad Fit to try and share my journey back to mental robustness and physical fitness, but hanging over my head was the thought of re-entering the dating market. I felt like a fraud, here I was blogging as a fit dad yet my diet and approach to exercise was horrendously poor. I was saying one thing on social media, yet living the complete opposite in real life. Getting Dad Fit had to go and I had to take real action.
Having been out of the dating scene for so long, and with the emergence of online and app dating, I felt massively out of my depth. I had no confidence in myself, I found myself hideous, so why would anyone be attracted in me. I entered into a a very small number of doomed relationships, either because I had paired myself with someone who had nothing in common with me but they resembled a person I would like to have been, or I had taken refuge in the arms of someone who was more vulnerable than me because of the desperate situation in which hey had found themselves in their own lives. Misery loves company and all that. Although out of these relationships I began to take away quite a few positives. My confidence was growing, I began to respect myself a little more, and I learned to appreciate that it was my mindset that was the issue, not me personally. I embarked on a body transformation to get into shape, I entered into the murky world of online dating, and I’ve come out the other side in a much better frame of mind.
So here I am now. I am no longer an anonymous handle on a blog, I am no longer disillusioned, I am optimistic, I am filled with hope, I am happy, I am a tower runner, I am a soldier, I am a dad. I am Tony Pitt.
If you would like to get in touch, you can:
Email me on email@example.com
Find me on Twitter @iamtonypitt
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Find me on YouTube at Tony Pitt